I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Vodka?
Forever.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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