i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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