My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
