We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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