Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize