erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
