She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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