i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
