Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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