oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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