He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
