small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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