First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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