He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
