Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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