i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
They have beer where we have blood.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
