Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
