so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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