Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We are two peas in an std pod
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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