Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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