I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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