p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im about as happy as oj after his trial
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize