hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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