i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
