i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
