its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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