No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
