Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Only a mothe r could love this liver
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
