My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
