Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize