dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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