Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
