I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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