i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Randomize