Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
