my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
