My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
