If that was your dad, he is hot
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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