why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
