Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
