we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
