she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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