they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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