he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
