he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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