so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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