bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
