My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
