im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
