The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
