I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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