hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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