so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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