we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
