; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
