what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize