I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
