this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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