If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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