I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
