a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
